My Succulent and Growth

Photographer: Jünior Rodríguez

Writing: Clara

I got a succulent as a gift last year. It was tiny, and the little pot containing it had a sloth painted on it. I was intimidated to grow it at first, because I had never taken care of a plant before. But as time went on, I grew to take better care of it.

In an attempt to endear myself with the process, I named my succulent reysie, and drafted a watering schedule for her. I would water her regularly according to what my research online told me was the optimal watering schedule for her species, and it seemed to work well for the first few weeks. However, I saw that over time, she was losing her color. The soil was either too dry or too wet, and reysie was not growing very well. It was only when I learned to more intuitively understand her needs and started researching plant care more in depth that I learned that the problem was in the environmental temperature, not my watering schedule.

There are many more elements that come into play when we take care of something as seemingly low maintenance as a potted succulent plant. Sunlight, temperature, water levels, drainage, fertilizer, humidity, and many more variables create a symphony of care points that have to harmonize in order for her to grow. I think we are all like reysie in some way. Taking care of ourselves is not as simple as following a one dimensional formula- “If I sprinkle activity x throughout my life, I will be well taken care of". We all need to find a balance of the various aspects of our life that need to harmonize in order for us to grow into healthier and brighter versions of ourselves.

I learned a few lessons from reysie. I have attempted to list some of them here.

• Balance: We cannot overwater our way out of a bad environment. While water is necessary for growth and harmony, overwatering our way out of a problem often leads to more imbalance. Studies in psychology suggest that wellbeing is multifaceted, involving emotional regulation, social connections, physical health, and cognitive engagement. Just as overwatering a succulent can be harmful, excessive focus on one aspect of self care such as working out while neglecting mental health can be counterproductive.

• Resilience: Growth is a slow process. Learning the balance of all the factors that help us grow can often require deeper reflection than what we may anticipate. It requires experimentation and patience. In a 2016 study, researchers found that individuals who practiced gardening reported increased emotional resilience and reduced stress levels. Nurturing something, whether a plant or oneself, requires patience, observation, and adjustments based on changing conditions.

• Adaptability: As we grow, our needs can sometimes grow as well. The same methods that helped us in the past may not apply to us at a later stage of growth. Care is an adaptable practice, and growth can require more flexible strategies.
  
  The connection between plant care and wellbeing is deeply rooted in history. In Japan, the practice of Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) emphasizes immersion in nature to reduce stress and improve mental clarity. Similarly, in Ayurveda, plants like Tulsi (holy basil) are used for holistic healing, recognizing the interconnectedness of mental, physical, and environmental health.

  These traditions suggest that self-care, like plant care, requires an understanding of one’s specific needs rather than a one-size-fits-all approach.

---

Citations

Hansen, M. M., Jones, R., & Tocchini, K. (2017). Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) and nature therapy: A state-of-the-art review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 14(8), 851.

Ryff, C. D., & Singer, B. (1998). The contours of positive human health. Psychological Inquiry, 9(1), 1-28.

Soga, M., Gaston, K. J., & Yamaura, Y. (2017). Gardening is beneficial for health: A meta-analysis. Preventive Medicine Reports, 5, 92-99.

The Paradox of Connection

Photographer: Roman Melnychuk

Writing: Clara

Connection in the social media landscape is a paradox to me.

I have hundreds of connections across my personal social media platforms. I have access to many parts of the world through the internet. Why, then, do I have so many moments of loneliness? Does access to people equate connection?

When we are portraying ourselves online, we are creating our data doubles. Codified and curated versions of ourselves, that fit a quantifiable algorithmic metric. The gap between our data doubles and our human selves are nuanced, varied, and expansive. When our data doubles are connected to each other, does it mean that our human selves are too?

How do we define connection? How many of my instagram followers could I text right now if I got a truly gut wrenching text or an email? How do we quantify good connections?

A feeling of safety. It is a gut feeling. People I feel safe and secure around, people who love me as a human being and not my performance metrics. They are my community.

I encourage you to reach out to people you truly feel loved by, and foster deeper connections in your life.

What is Rest?

Image from The Nap Ministry

Writing: Nura Saleh, Founder

REST is not what I thought it was. My re-introduction to rest was through the care and safety provided to me by a close friend as I uprooted myself from the life I had known. I had lost myself in grind culture. After leaving NYC, then my job, I fell into deep recovery. I was sleeping 12 hours a day and was immersing myself in the comforts of watching shows and playing video games. I thought I was resting, but really I was just starting my healing journey from extreme burnout. My friend gifted me a book she had just read: Rest Is Resistance, by Tricia Hersey. You will see quotes and lessons from this book throughout our reflection on rest. While I’ve shared key lessons, I cannot recommend this book enough; please read it as part of your rest journey so you can find what resonates most with you.

I have learned that REST is about reconnecting with yourself. It’s about finding time to dream, recharge, and give yourself access to life. We are not our work. We are not our hustle. We just are.

I write this knowing that I still have so much to learn about the act of resting. I find myself constantly chasing the adrenaline I find in achieving an external goal or reaching a deadline. But that adrenaline isn’t a healthy fuel. It’s not sustainable. We must find fuel that is.

In the past, if someone asked me how I rest, my answer would be streaming or scrolling through the internet. I was just pressing pause on life until it was time to work again. I didn’t know how to rest as an act of care. But now, I’m finally finding ways to rest that actually recharge me. Sometimes I go for walks with a friend. I spend time in my garden. I sit with my coffee and stare into space. I dance. I dream. I write. I paint. I’m often still streaming or scrolling, but I am learning to recognize the difference and how each type of rest makes me feel.

When I alternate between rest and action, I find my thoughts are clearer. My work is more authentic and genuine to who I am. As Hersey says in her book (pg 27):

“Rest makes us more human. It brings us back to our human-ness”.

Explore our REST reflection for more, and ask yourself: how do I rest?

Breathing Techniques

Image: Pause Breathe Smile

Writing: Nura Saleh, Founder

(Update from January 24, 2025)

This month I’ve been sitting with grief, fear, and gratitude for community. I’ve often found myself dysregulated as I work to balance self care and follow through on commitments I made. My community has taught me the importance of breath. They have introduced me to art and insights about how to use these tools. They have reminded me to breathe when they see me in panic. 

I started Bailiú to share this journey with a wider community. I believe that we can help each other learn, grow, and heal. So, each month, this community will choose an act of care to reflect on. We start with a reminder to BREATHE.

Taking a moment to focus and BREATHE, is one of the most powerful acts of care we can take for ourselves and those around us. It’s a tool we carry with us everywhere. Not only does it keep us alive, but it helps us anchor ourselves. When the world around us feels chaotic and unsure, a slow breath will tell our bodies and our brains that we’re going to be okay. The oxygen that floods our brain tells us that we’re getting the basic nourishment we need in that moment. It lowers anxiety and reminds us that we’re in control of ourselves. You can read more about the science behind why box breathing reduces stress in this piece by the Cleveland Clinic.

Throughout history, breathing has been a cornerstone of cultural movements, many in a spiritual sense. In researching this concept and speaking with experts, we learned about box breathing. Try it for yourself, following these instructions from WebMD &/or the GIF at the top of this page:

• Step 1: Breathe in, counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs.

• Step 2: Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Try to avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds.

• Step 3: Slowly exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.

• Step 4: Repeat steps 1 to 3 until you feel re-centered.

The oldest record of this concept of 4-4-4-4 or “Box” breathing is from India. The method is based on pranayama, an ancient Ayurvedic form of breath-work. A quick search will also cite the US Navy Seals as a source for this knowledge, with it rebranded as “Tactical Breathing”. No one can own breathing, but it’s important to reflect on how it is framed and defined by different cultures throughout time. It shows how powerful it is as a tool and how cultures choose to frame that power.

As we enter 2025, many of us are nervous about the instability around us. Bailiu has been created to help us all focus on care for this next chapter.  We’ve designed a journey of monthly reflections where we can learn from each other and experts throughout time. We’re starting with BREATHE because it’s a tool that all of us have at our disposal, and an action we can take at any time. It’s so subtle and built into who we are that sometimes we take it for granted.

Creativity is similar. All of us have the ability to create, but sometimes we prioritize other people’s perspectives over our own. If other people don’t like our art, is it art? The answer is a resounding YES. Art is about the creation process. When we create something, we are learning about ourselves and the subject of our art.

In January, we’re focusing our reflections and creations on: BREATHE. As a community, we’re going to be sharing insights and art that explore the concept of breathing. As we reflect on this concept, we’ll be creating art with the idea of breathing in mind. Please join us in creating and sharing your perspectives on the power of breath.

Breath and Being: The Art of Presence

Photographer: Chris Ensey

Writing: Clara

Breath. It is something we carry with us everywhere, a constant companion which hums beneath the cacophony of daily life. Quiet and unassuming, it is a rhythm we rarely pause to notice. Hidden within its automatic constancy is a profound connection to the present moment, to ourselves, and to the world.

Across centuries and disciplines, breath has been more than a biological function. It has been celebrated as a gateway to awareness, a tool for healing, and a reminder of our impermanence. Ancient yogis, existential philosophers, and contemporary psychologists alike have pondered its role, finding in it a bridge between the tangible and the ineffable. What if this simple act of of inhaling and exhaling holds the key to something deeper?

The Rhythm of Existence

For Martin Heidegger, existence is a matter of engagement. In Being and Time, he introduces Dasein, translated literally as “being-there”. Dasein frames  existence as a matter of interplay, conceptualizing human life as being in a constant exchange with the world. To exist is not to sit passively but to move, to act, to entwine ourselves with time and place.

Breath, in this context, becomes a metaphor for Dasein. Each inhalation brings the world in. Its air, its scents, its fleeting essence. Each exhalation offers something back: a gesture of release, of relinquishing control. The phenomenon of breathing becomes not mere biology but a rhythm of reciprocity, a small but profound act of being-in-the-world.

The yogic tradition has long recognized breath as a gateway to presence. Patanjali introduces the concept of pranayama in his Yoga Sutras, as an art of breath regulation. The “separation of the flow of inhalation and exhalation” is described as a way in which to calm one’s mind. Modern practitioners drawn similar parallels to this ancient practice, with studies showing how deliberate breathing can quiet anxiety and sharpen focus. Breath, for Patanjali, is both anchor and avenue. A way to bridge the restless mind and the stillness of now.

Breath as Memory

What happens when breath falters? When life intrudes, pressing its weight on our chests, making each inhale feel like labor?

Bessel van der Kolk, in his groundbreaking book The Body Keeps the Score, describes breath as a witness to our history. Stress and trauma, he argues, don’t just reside in the mind; they inhabit the body, tightening muscles, quickening pulses, and fragmenting our sense of ease. Breath is a record of our struggles, a barometer for the storms we have weathered. Patanjali writes something similar in his yoga sutras, where the patterns in breathing are described as a direct reflection of one’s state of mind.

“labored breathing (is) the symptom of a distracted state of mind ”

— Patanjali

Dr. Belisa Vranich, a psychologist and breathing specialist, takes this insight further. She has observed how most of us, conditioned by desk jobs and constant stress, have lost touch with the natural rhythm of diaphragmatic breathing. She observes that we live on shallow sips of air, locked in a cycle of tension. Vranich’s work is not about shaming these habits. Rather, it is an invitation to return to simplicity. To rediscover the deep, full breaths that connect us to ourselves.

Breath, in this light, becomes a means of reconciliation. To breathe is to reflect the state of out minds on our physical bodies. Deep and mindful breathing is way to soften these edges, a reminder that healing is not a linear journey but a quiet act of attention, moment by moment.

Breathing Through Time

Each breath marks the passing of time. It is both ordinary and profound, a measure of life’s transience. Heidegger, ever the philosopher of mortality, saw in our finitude not despair but possibility. He called it Being-toward-death: an awareness that life’s brevity is what gives it weight.

Each breath, then, becomes a small affirmation of this truth. It is a reminder of impermanence, but also of choice. To breathe is to decide: how will I spend this moment? What will I notice? What will I release? The deliberate control of breath embodies this philosophy. It transforms something automatic into something intentional, offering a pause in an inhale and exhale, a pause during which life’s noise gives way to clarity.

Breath doesn’t ask us to step back from life’s complexities; it draws us closer. It sharpens our awareness of what matters and anchors us in the here and now. It is not an escape but an embrace.

The Art of Noticing

And so, we return to the simplest act: noticing. Breathing happens whether we attend to it or not, but to pause and feel it. To notice the rise of the chest, the fall of the exhale is to find something profound in the ordinary. It is a quiet rebellion against the relentless pace of modernity, a moment of stillness and rest in a world that demands perpetual motion.

This is not to suggest that breath is a remedy for life’s trials and tribulations. Life will remain messy, its weight unpredictable. But within the quiet rhythm of inhale and exhale lies a steadying force. A reminder of what it means to be alive, here, now.

So, the next time you feel lost, scattered, or overwhelmed, try this: Pause. Notice the air as it enters your lungs, the warmth as it leaves. Let the act of breathing remind you of your place in the world, your tether to the moment. It may not solve everything, but it might help you see clearly, if only for an instant, what it means to simply be.